We choose to believe that we had a choices because the illusion about freedom, and lies about free will is better than a jail of destiny.
And what’s harder is when you realize it, you have to start to learn how to dealt with it. Accept it. And that kind of truth makes human being is an arrogant small dots in this universe, don’t you think?

What matter for me now, is that I’m tired seeing things in Grey. What’s the right and wrong, The choices now are between what’s right and what’s good. And not everyone fancy’s what’s right anymore. 

I started to become cynical. I dreamed almost nothing in my sleep. Or even if I dream, I dream Grey. Grey church, Grey Jungle, Grey Sky with Grey rainbow. I know that something is wrong, but even the greatest doctor read from symptoms. I don’t have any particular symptom. So I don’t know what is wrong with me.

It’s like. “Doc, I see Grey” and the doctor would answer ” Well, kiddo, THAT’S LIFE. Either that or you’re color blind. And seeing from what you did for a living, you are doom. Either way, you’re DOOM” and the doctor would laugh in evil-ish, Moriarty/Dr. Doom/ Kind of way.

But I decided not to give up. There are things worth to fight for. To stand on my ground, and I choose my ground to be Solid, colorful, bouncy (for my obsession of having trampoline, not unstable bouncy) one. Because this one is what I’ve believed.

By the way, having a trampoline is a really good Idea thou. I’ll put it in my “things to have in my white house backyard” It’s priority will come before Tree House and after swing. :)

Kidding. And I remember back when I was in elementary, and my sport’s teacher was taught me how to run properly. I learned about Ready-set-go phase. Now I do understand why it’s better to have those 3 phase before we start anything. 
To be ready means to know what are you going to do and say to yourself that you are, in perfect consciousness, aware of your condition. So you put your hand in the ground. To the nearest of starting line, your vision wander straight to your destination. Focus. 
Steady, is when you bring your body in a position that’s easier to run , but you still had your control over ground beneath you. This position is critical. It’s the position is a transition from “ready” and “Go” which will add more push (gain from your left feet) which create a force for your start. When you knew your destination, you knew what to do. Preparation at your best, like the Set/Steady position. It’s when you take a deep breath, pray ready whenever it is the time to … GO! It’s the real war. Test of many things. My only thought at that time is to beat my opponent. Then I discover, I need to beat myself. In the toughest time, when your destination seems like never come, it is yourself that either become your enemy or best friend. In the end, every time i reach finish line (winning or losing) it’s the moment where the wind blew through my hair that capture my heart the most. I feel like flying. And that flying moment I really hope to find in everything I do. That’s when i decide : “I Love This! I want to do it everyday!”

remember the good ol days, when nothing holds my back.

I really think that frog is an Alien. They're green, slimy, and found their way to be back from death.